There’s more to The Philosophical Baby that piqued my interest, and really resonated with some things I’ve been experiencing recently.
On page 206, Alison Gopnik writes – “As babies learn more about how minds work they automatically extend those discoveries both to themselves and to others.” She then discusses a quality that most animals share – empathy – the inherited natural response to feel what others of your kind feel.
Empathy leads to “altruistic” action, and to the framework through which a baby will create its unique understanding of how the world works. As Ms. Gopnik points out, when a baby smiles and their caregiver does not smile back, the baby creates a theory of World that accounts for that discrepancy in action. When a caregiver leaves at an early age, that creates its own unique outlook on relationships.
On page 209, she describes studies that explore the way children make judgments. Usually, these snap-judgments are based on a combination of the child’s own “hard-wiring” and their idea of relationships from their upbringing/environment (nature and nurture).
From the very first interaction a baby has with another person, it creates this understanding. It begins to form who it is, who it will be, its Self.
As soon as pieces of the framework are laid, interactions will be interpreted as supporting that framework. That’s how all systems work – a system sees everything external to itself as supporting it. It does not waste time dealing with things that are “inconsequential.” Time = survival. It looks for evidence that confirms what it believes. If it does not find it, it looks elsewhere first. The last thing a system does is attempt to change itself.
You can see this type of behavior at work in the “denial” of people dealing with deep-seated issues. Most often, they do not even know or care that they have an issue. Hence the saying “the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem.”
To a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
It’s not because everything is a nail. Nor is it that a hammer is incapable of seeing things other than nails. It’s simply because a hammer can only use a nail. It has no reference point for a bolt, or a screw.
Similarly, young children, when confronted with other children who may be “hostile” or “aggressive,” will interpret that child’s actions as threatening or non-threatening based on their past experience with that type of behavior.
Importantly, that child will react to the situation based on those past experiences. Children coming from environments that do not provide security (self-security) will be highly reactive to the behavior of other children (in general). Children who come from an environment that provides a greater sense of self-security will be less reactive. Both “types” of child are interpreting their environment based on the “world” they’ve constructed for themselves from their experience.
When you look at the outside world, you see your own mind.
When you walk down the street and see a large, disheveled-looking man lurching toward you, your first response might be to think that he is a threat. You might, on the other hand think that he is a harmless drunk. Or you might think that he is in need of some help.
All three of these interpretations might be correct. Or, all three could be completely wrong.
But what you see, when you see that man, is you.
You see your mind. You see your framework for the world. That is what you think about that person – you think your framework…in some ways, your framework thinks you.
The only way to know for sure about that man, is to watch his actions, or to ask him directly what his situation is, or both.
The longer a system exists, the harder it becomes to change at all.
This is the reason for things like national revolutions. A massive disruption, a complete destruction of the original form is necessary, and a brand new creation takes its place. This is the reason why alcoholics talk about hitting “rock bottom.” Everything is gone – the house, the wife, the kids, their health, etc. It took the loss of everything in order to be able to change.
You may be asking yourself why I’m spending so much time on this, and what it has to do with fitness?
The Definition of Fitness
First, I think it’s important to understand how our body/minds work, and how we function in the world. Then, I think it’s important to consciously apply that knowledge to our daily lives. That, to me, is the definition of “fitness.”
Many people struggle with weight loss. They go to the gym, try different diets, work with trainers, have surgeries – to no avail.
What has not changed for these people is their framework. They carry the habitual mental attitudes that brought them to the state they’re in.
When you walk down the street, you see faces that tell you something…they tell you who you are, or who you think they think you are. You also make judgments about who they are – who you think they are.
But do they really see you? Is that possible?
And do you see them? As who they are, as who they are to themselves? Do you see what they would hope to be?
When you speak with other people, you hear specific tones in the conversation. You take offense to some slip of the tongue, or to what seems to you like an oddly-emphasized word. You also take pleasure in something that seems like a compliment.
But were they really talking about you? Were you really listening, or was your framework listening?
This isn’t a silly game. This is reality. This is “adult play.” Playing with the forms you’ve become accustomed to. Questioning them. This is the adult playground. Not because children can’t do this – they can, and they do – but because now you know how to do it.
And knowing is the first step.